Severance

On December 29, 2007, after reading the comments of Epitaph (which reached Blogspot just before Christmas), Ari’s friend and editor Anouska wrote her a very enthusiastic text message saying that other readers and herself were left “emotionally imperiled.” Nevertheless, despite her feeling that it would be “a sacrilege to suggest revisions from so grand a bitch,” she thought she would not be a good publisher if she failed to point out that the timing was rather abrupt and possibly premature; as many subsequent commenters have repeated Anouska’s original objections, and as they have been answered by as many defenders of this ending for the blog, it is interesting to hear what Ari herself had to say on the matter in the following e-mail, which she wrote immediately on receiving her friend’s suggestions.

Dear Ano:

I read the comments today. And I’m sorry but I cannot change that ending. It is casual—there is no fruity climax, it is not more important than any other part of the blog—if there is a symbol, it is a symbol of personal strength, it must be careless, it must be a thief in the night, and it must be quick. To build this thief into the structure of the blog would be to warp the whole meaning of the blog. The fact that this is unexpected and inconsiderate to readers—that is the emphasis. The conclusion has no more sentiment than the beating of the head with a stick. I’m sorry if that doesn’t get over. It should probably, since I’ve never cared about the readers before. I’ve been on the design of this blog a long time and I’ve earned the right to dispose of it. Let's face it, I’ve been coddling these cows far too long—let them dress themselves! Let them come up with their own opinions. It's time to cut the cord…

You know that I’ve never been touchy about changes, but I have too many obligations apart from this blog, I am not a robot and I can't just run to a computer every time I get some breaking bit of gossip via G*****’s mind-numbing texts. Besides, I am not writing a satisfying blog. I’ve done my damndest to bring a reader’s nerves to broil, I don’t want them satisfied.

One more thing—I’ve tried to write this blog the way my life is lived and not the way blogs are written. Each post has been carefully weighed so the balance is there; it's only natural that they come across as highly edited, insensitive and unkind.

This e-mail sounds angry. I don’t mean it to be. I know that blogs lead to a cheesy+pretentious climax which brings meaning and closure to their readers. This one doesn’t except by implication. The reader must bring the implication to it; if she doesn’t, it wasn’t a blog for her to read! Throughout I’ve tried to make the reader participate in the actuality, what she takes from it will be scaled entirely on her own depth or shallowness. There are five layers in this blog, a reader will find as many as she can and she won’t find more than she has in herself.

Love and chainsaws
A.L.